POS Car

Oh yeah, it's been a while.  Since I last wrote I quit  my crappy job and started a better one where I don't cry nearly every day.  In fact I have an off day maybe once every few weeks.  And I've been there almost as long as I was at the other job.

I lost 30 # and made lifetime at weight watchers.

I started hating my car.  I loved that thing when I got it.  Black, sporty, fin, leather interior, sun roof, Cd changer MP 3 player, auto everything.  We, over the last 6 years it's gotten old; of course.  I had the brakes replaced a couple years ago and they squeak.  We took it to a brake shop and they said they don't touch my kind  of car because the brakes just squeak.  So we took it to the dealer and there was nothing wrong with it.  Then a few months ago it started making a weird noise and needed a new CV joint.  I took it to an auto mechanic I sound on Craigslist.  I would advise against this, even though it saved me $150.  On Monday it was making a noise like it had  a flat tire but it didn't.  I couldn't drive around two counties all day long like that so I took it home and took Tom's truck.  He drove my car the next day and asked about my brakes being soft.  He checked the brake fluid and it was low so he filled it.  The next day the brakes weren't working well again so he checked the brake fluid again and it was low again.  The next day he took the front tire off and the brake line had been rubbing against the tire and broke.  Great.  So we drove it, carefully, to the dealership that night.  The next day they called us with our $550 estimate.  I went in and asked why it cost so much to fix a brake line.  So they took me in to see the car.  When the Craigslist guy fixed it he didn't put the brake line back, he broke the strut, so they have to replace all of that, plus the $1,000,000 an hour for labor.  Great.  Should have just taken it to the dealer in the first place.  We may have paid $300 instead of $700.

Can't Sleep; Catching Up

Well, I can't sleep so I thought I'd do some way overdue catching up.  I've been slacking on this!

After my last blog, my weigh-ins were:
3/17/11: -0.4 pounds for a total of -16.2
3/24/11: -2.6 pounds for a total of -18.8
3/31/11: +1 pound for a total of - 17.8
4/7/11: -3.4 pounds for a total of -21.2

So I started thinking that I'm getting close to my goal weight, or what I had chosen for a goal anyway, and I hadn't talked to anyone about it.  I started wondering if I had picked the right weight, how would I know it was the right weight, etc.  So I went to one of the drop-in sessions and talked to the leader who was there.  She was so helpful.  She showed me the healthy weights for my height and suggested I start with a goal at the top of that range and maintain that goal for a while then I can move my goal down if I am comfortable doing that.  It sounded like a good plan to me since the goal I had chosen was just 5 pounds less than the top of the range of healthy weights.  It's almost like practice for maintenance.  In order to start maintenance you must be within 2 pounds of your goal weight and I am 1 pound away.  I'm a little leery about whether I lost that pound or not.  You see, I had a friend over on Friday and drank a couple glasses of Kahlua -- quite a bit of carbs and alcohol sugar.  When I drink more than a glass of wine a couple times a week I tend to gain weight or not lose.  I guess we will see what happens.  Then of course I am worried about maintaining.  What if I go over one week?  I wear the same clothes to weigh in every week, will I wear those forever?  I need to relax!

I plan on walking the 5K during the Colorado Marathon on May 1.  I was hoping my sister would walk it with me but I'm not sure if she'll be able to or not.  Then on May 7 I'll be walking in the MS Walk for/with one of my patients.  There is a reason to increase my exercise.  I've been doing hour long walks on the weekend but I'm going to need to fit it in during the week, too.  Not only is Sam getting really tired when we go for walks, now he's developed a cough.  I'm getting worried about him.

nearly 16!

The weather is gorgeous today!  I just got back from a 50 minute walk; the boys rode their bikes.  I took the dog with me and he was so worn out by the time we were done.  He's 8 years old and I think the long walks are getting to be a little too much for him.  I may need to start walking alone or take him for just shorter walks.  The thought makes me sad.

At my last weigh in I was shocked and happy to find out that I had lost 4.2 pounds.  That thrilled me after I had gained 1.4 pounds the week before.  That helped me meet my 15 pound milestone.  Now I've lost 15.8 pounds total!  I have (I think) 1.6 pounds to go before I get to my 10% goal.  13 pounds to my goal weight.  It doesn't sound like much, but it has taken me 3 months to lose 16 pounds!  Ahh well.

My sister and I had a nice conversation last night.  She has lost weight and looks great.  She told me that I look good.  I told her that I don't think I look as good as she does and she said, "really?  I was thinking that you look better".  It made me feel really good.  I'm feeling much better about myself.  I feel good when my clothes get bigger and I need to buy new sizes, I feel better when my clothes just look better on me.  Still, looking at myself naked just grosses me out.  Sorry, it's true.

Went to roller derby with my sister last night and it was so much fun!  One of my sister's old friends is on one of the teams that was playing.  I should have a picture that I can post soon.

I have a new job that is going great.  I'm really enjoying it and really enjoy the people I work with.

Right now I'm watching my husband play video games.  I'm thrilled.  (Unfortunately there is no sarcasm font)

the gain

The past couple weeks have been tough!  There was Valentine's Day, then Tom's birthday, then my birthday - all of them with some sort of food related celebration.  Then last weekend we went out with some guys that Toms works with.  That involved dinner.  I have to eat gluten free and at most restaurants that means a salad or a burger without a bun.  Salads are not always the best option, either, with some of the stuff they pack on.  Let's add to this that I haven't been tracking well for the last couple weeks.  So I go to weigh in and I am not surprised to find out that I have gained 1.4 pounds.  Wow.  I felt fat!  So I am back on track with paying closer attention to what I am putting in my mouth and tracking.  Already I am feeling better.  One thing that is tough is my new job.  There is no really good structured schedule to schedule meals and snacks around.  I'm also at the mercy of the nurse I am working with that day, but I am making it work.

Speaking of working, I am loving my new job!  It's great and I really enjoy it there and the people are wonderful!  I can't wait until I start doing more and I'm on my own.  I can already tell I'm going to be busy!

Well, I thought I'd end with a couple pictures.

this is me (and my husband) last summer, a few months before starting weight watchers

this is me today, 3 months into weight watchers and about a 12 pound weight loss (yes, I did take the picture in the bathroom)

my birthday meltdown

I had a birthday; maybe a significant one, maybe not.  I turned 39.  I spent the day before, the day of and the day after crying.  I couldn't stop.  I decided to see my psychiatrist.  He told me that it is normal to reevaluate your life on your birthday, and right now I feel like my life sucks.  He also told me that my seretonin levels are probably low, which is causing me to cry all the time and hibernate.  None of the meds I'm on effect my seretonin so he started me on a low dose of Prozac.  Funny, I've never been on that one before.  I know there is a lot going on in my life that meds can't fix and I hope things start getting better soon.   Since I quit my job I am feeling better, so that has helped.  I start my new job on Monday and I am nervous about that.  I have a few days to myself and I need to use those days to do things I want to do and take care of myself.

I did not go to Weight Watchers last week.  We had valentine's day, Tom's birthday, then my birthday in the last two weeks.  We did a lot of celebrating, which meant a lot of drinking and eating.  I didn't do any tracking yet I tried to stick with my plan when I wasn't splurging.  So today I weighed in and I have lost another 1.2 pounds for a total of 13 pounds.  For whatever reason, I thought that I could reach my 10% goal by next week.  I don't think that will happen. Maybe in 2-3 weeks.  Clothes are still getting bigger, so that is a good feeling.  My husband is finding me more attractive (not that he didn't find me attractive before, he says) and I like that, too.  I have 15 more pounds I want to lose.  I don't know why; that's just a number.  Let's just see where it goes.

2 pounds

Last week I gained 0.8 pounds.  Ugh.  I don't know why.  I was sure I had gained this week, too.  I just felt like I had.  I did everything the same except I had gone out one night and had a salad and a couple small margaritas. Still staying within my total points.  Well, I lost 2 pounds this week for a total loss of 11 pounds!  Just 6 pounds away from my 10% goal and 18 away from my ultimate goal.  I am feeling great, I am fitting into smaller pants.  I got rid of my bigger clothes.  This is going well and I'm happy with it.  It's been way too cold to go outside to walk so I've been trying to do things inside.  I've done the Zumba on the wii, but I need to use it on the bigger TV because I can't read the small print and did 3 warm-ups instead of a whole workout.  I also did some yoga from the fitness on demand.  Unfortunately I am more out of shape than I thought I was and I can't do an entire routine.  I just need to keep working on it, though.  Keep doing what I'm doing and I'll continue to be successful.  I hear these people in the meetings who are so gung-ho that all they eat is salads and fruit.  I can't do that, though.  I have to live.  So I eat "regular" food, too.  There is nothing wrong with that.  And some people don't eat their total points for the day, which is not recommended.  I feel like I'm doing what is right for me.  Either way, whatever I am doing is working.

I need to start getting ready for my next 5K, the Sharin' O' The Green on March 12.  That's 5 weeks away.  While it's cold out I can probably use the Wii.  I think there is a walking/jogging routine on the fit plus program.